To be a Bitch or not to be a Bitch...

I like to play pool. Wait... Let me rephrase that,

I LOVE to play pool.

I always have. Something about the sound of the balls has always drawn me to the game. 

It is considered to be a predominately male sport. 

Which I personally find annoying, considering that it is one of the few sports that does not rely on physical strength or any other quality that would be defined by the difference of genders.

And yes there are differences!

I am a tiny woman and I know that I am not physically able to play tackle football! Those guys are huge! 

The point is, of course there are differences. Women are naturally better at things and men are naturally better at things.

I digress, Let me get back to my point.

There are many instances when as a woman I am faced with the question of do I be a "bitch" or do I stand back and look pretty!


When I go to a place to play pool, I am either struck with men attempting to explain to me how to play the game. ( usually in a creepy way, followed by a cheesy pick up line!) 


I am simply ignored when it comes to my turn to play. ( followed by a sympathetic," I am sorry. Hey guys the little lady wants to play.")

So, basically, I am left with two options,

Option 1: politely say "that's o.k... I can wait" or "you go ahead, I will get in on the next rotation" 

Or Option number 2: Me saying, "Hey, it's my turn!" 

Regardless of how I say," it is actually my turn to play and you guys skipped me", I am usually told with looks or comments and sometimes flat out that, "I don't have to be a bitch about it!"


Regardless if we say it politely or aggressively, we will be the bitch for standing up for ourselves in certain situations.

I realize I may receive some negative feedback for this and undoubtedly will be told by some men that it is not true. 

I know, I know, there are always be exceptions to the rule!!! 

Also, I am not bashing men. On the contrary, I LOVE MEN!

However, I am saying that as a woman, we face similar situations everyday! And unfortunately, If you disagree as a man, that is simply because you have not walked in the shoes of being a woman in our society and age.

I realize men also have pressures to deal with. The difference is that I don't pretend that they aren't real and that they don't exist in this society in 2019.

Pretending that women have equal rights in 2019 is like pretending that racism doesn't exist since The Civil Rights Movement.

It does.

And I also realize that huge progress has been made towards more equality and fair treatment. 

But we can not simply stop trying and fighting for equality simply because we have made a few baby steps!

That is like saying," Well I made it 2.5 K in a 5 K race so it's o.k. Yes, the progress is important, but let us keep our eyes on the finish line.


So we have identified the problem, what are some solutions?


The more silent we are, the more it is sending the message that its o.k. That we don't mind as women to be pushed aside.




Your grandmothers and mothers mad huge progress for us. Lets keep the momentum going!

We as women are still faced with the government ( and men) dictating to us what is acceptable to do with our bodies, what is considered sexy and beautiful.


Don't forget that.... WE DECIDE! according to not only our actions but our reactions to situations... even if they are uncomfortable for us or extremely out of our comfort zone.

Get out of your comfort zone.

We can, I can sit back and complain all I want, However, until I take some action towards changing the status quo, it will always be as it is. And I won'y be taken seriously.

So... back to my point,

I am choosing to be the bitch!

Proudly, and loudly!

As for my pool game, still enjoying it and I love nothing more than to kick some guys butt on the table after he has " explained to me the rules.."


As always, I love your feedback! Please comment back. I can be reached at

or if you are a texter: (503) 791-4670






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