Difference between a kink and a fetish

This is a new area I created where you can ask any question you want about any "taboo" subject. 

Ask M. Lily is your answer to get the answers to the tough questions you may not feel comfortable asking.

Even though I sell luxury lingerie, I think due to the fetish inspired aspect, I get asked tons of questions by really good and just curious people about "taboo" subjects.

That is why I have asked my friend, M. Lily, a once professional dominatrix to help me to answer all of your questions!

Each week, Lily and I will choose a question to answer in depth. 

So stayed tuned and check back often!

Of course you can always ask a question. Just fill out the form below or email me at tara@sheerfetish.com.

And with that being said, to answer the most asked question:


What is the difference between a kink and a fetish? Confused...

-Kimberly M.

M. Lily answers below:

A fetish is really a different thing than a kink. And unfortunately all too often the two words are used interchangeably and thought to mean the same thing.

I am here to help you understand the differences!

A fetish is a kink that becomes the primary source of pleasure. Most fetishes are not harmful or even illegal. But can venture into those categories.

Let me give you an example:

Let;s say that someone has a foot fetish.

Not only do they adore feet and want to worship them, they will find it hard, if at all to find sexual satisfaction unless feet are involved.

Meaning that if someone just likes feet and can get satisfaction from worshiping them, but that is not the only way they can reach satisfaction, this is just a kink about feet.

(usually deriving from the act of being a submissive.... more on that later!)

So if you and your partner have a healthy sex life and occasionally like to bent over the knee and given a good 'ol spanking! This does not mean that you have a spanking fetish. It simply means that one of your kinks is spanking.

Now on the other hand, if the only way you can reach sexual satisfaction is if you are slapped on the buttocks, then you have a spanking fetish.

" But, M. Lily, my partner and I tried spanking me 4 nights ago, and now every night since she wants to spank me during sex. Does this mean that she has a spanking fetish?'

No. It does not mean that. Before you get your knickers in a bunch, we are all humans. and humans are creatures of habit.

It is perfectly normal that if you newly discover something that is exciting, it is only normal to want to repeat that a few times until you venture onto something else!

I hope this has answered your question about the difference between a kink and a fetish.

Remember that anything is o.k. as long as it is consensual and not causing harm to yourself or others.

Play safe.

Have fun and kink on!

-M. Lily


P.S. if you have any other questions, please email them to madamelily@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.

Your anonymity is always guaranteed!




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